Am I the Patient You Think I Am?
Yesterday, at radiation, a new team worked on me. Well, they are probably not new, but they've never worked with me before. I wasn't worried because there are notes on the chart so that everyone knows the same way to position me on the grid, and even how to prop up my knees while I balance on the plank-like table.
This time, though, everything was just plain weird. They did not prop up my knees. They didn't adjust my body posture. They took the longest time positioning me, scooting my body this way and that, and when they finished, I felt like I was about to fall off the table because I was so far right.
I was getting worried because it felt completely wrong. I'm good at positioning and judging fine distances. This was not the regular position. I knew they had my chart because the guy who came to get me expected me to have blue hair, which is what I wore when they took my photo during the 3-D planning session. But everything felt off.
I asked one of them about this and she reassured me as though I was a naïve child. I think she missed my point. Don't get me wrong; she wasn't being a jerk about it, she just didn't understand what I was saying.
They set up the machine for X-rays (the Monday ritual) and everyone trotted out of the room. After the X-rays, a therapist came in to remove the x-ray stuff and set for radiation. He left the room and the buzzer sounded. As the machine moved around me, I couldn't help but feel more nervous than usual. What if it was off-base? Um, let's keep that away from my heart, shall we?
Today I went back to the same room but the crew was different. They got me into position quickly and everything seemed right. Then they said they were going to do an X-ray first. Interesting. Two days of X-rays? I asked why and the guy said, "Oh, just double-checking things. When they tell us to do it, we do it."
Suitably vague, but I knew it is because I WAS RIGHT. They didn't have me in the right position yesterday. When I got up after they were done, they gave me a lab slip to have my blood counts checked, something that they had not done before. Was it related? I don't know!
After mulling this over for a while, I emailed my radiation oncologist and told her of my experience. She said that yes, the X-ray for Monday was off, but only by the slightest amount, and it was nothing to worry about. She did make a note in my chart to only have the two leads that I trust assigned to my appointments, which I thought was very accommodating of her. And my blood counts were fine.
In the end, I'm sure no harm was done, but gosh, it sure made me think an awful lot!
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