Ship's Blog: December, 2006

I sent my friend Maria a box of Paris-themed gifts to celebrate her birthday. Happy Birthday, Maria!

Here is the sign to go with the collection:

This was one of those projects where, halfway through, it seemed to go to hell. I was dry brushing ivory paint over the paper I had decoupaged and I thought it looked all wrong. The ivory crackle paint over the metallic copper seemed off. I questioned whether I should glaze it with burnt umber. It wasn't what I imagined and I had no idea what to do.  Read more »

I am really trying to be patient with Tamoxifen, but the side effects keep stacking up like cordwood and I feel wrung out. I know there are women who have few side effects or who can mange their side effects well. What I don't understand is why I am not one of them!  Read more »

I photographed the album that I made for Kathy, featuring her two boys, Dash and Skee. Here is the cover: 

This uses a Westrim clipboard style album that already had pre-cut openings. I started out by using a copper leafing pen on all the edges and openings, before doing anything else. I used teal embossed suede paper on the cover and copper crepe paper over the spine. Those are copper crown charms on the boys, which I pounded flat with a hammer.

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I have a fantasy of what the winter holidays are like. It's not very detailed; it's more like a video montage that features: beautiful, yummy food food, cold days and warm blankets, the gleam of shiny decorations in metallic turquoise, raspberry, and lime, and kitties snuggled contentedly on the hearth. Somewhere in there are the perfect, handmade presents-creatively hand-wrapped in a way that might make you weep-that I give with a gentle hug to everyone I love.  Read more »

Yesterday I got rid of the monstrous entertainment center that I've been moving from place to place since the mid-eighties. Monstrous to me is 5 ft high, 5-1/2 feet wide and 20 inches deep, with enough MDF in its construction to make it weigh a ton.

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I emailed my oncologist about how Tamoxifen has made a new edgy me. I asked her if there was something I could give Kathy to use on me when I start lashing out, maybe something in aerosol form that she can spray at me. I told her that if I could slip it into Kathy's Christmas stocking, it might be her favorite gift of the season!

The doctor wrote back and said that she really didn't think pepper spray or MACE would help with the situation. If I wanted, she'd be happy to make an appointment so I could bring Kathy in and she could explain to her that it's not my fault.  Read more »

For the past few weeks, I just keep getting crankier and crankier. Cranky isn't the right word. Scary-bitchy might be more descriptive! Anyone reading this who knows me also knows I do not have a bitchy bone in my body. But suddenly, thanks to Tamoxifen, I've turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. YIKES!  Read more »

Starting in childhood, we are given labels to describe who we are, both to others and to ourselves. Some of these labels sound positive, like when we are told we are smart, friendly, or energetic. Others are clearly not-so-nice labels, such as difficult, reckless, or hypersensitive. Still others seem like they'd be good except that they are said with an edge, like the way some people say ambitious, clever, or artsy. Makes you not want to be any of those!  Read more »

Kathy called me mid-day today to check on something about the house. As she was ending the call, she said, "Oh, remind me later to tell you about what I won." I thought, they probably had a drawing at work and she won movie tickets or something. That's cool.  Read more »

Today was my one-month check-up after completing radiation. I was looking forward to going back for the appointment because I had hoped to see the radiation therapy leads again. Actually, I don't know if they are called ‘leads' -- that's just what I call them because they appear to lead each team that they are on. Hmmm, maybe they are just pushy. Well, I like them, whatever they are called, but they were both out today. Bummer.  Read more »

Every morning, I gather up the clothes I want to wear for the day, place them in a pile in the bathroom, take my shower, then dress. I have three pairs of jeans that I choose from: two indigo and one black, and I don't like any of them. Mostly that's because I have a problem finding jeans that fit my curves well.

Today I pulled on my blue jeans and again lamented how ill fitting they are. I held them out from my waist and thought, "How the hell am I going to cinch that in with a belt without looking ridiculous? This is hopeless!"  Read more »

Angela Kinsey, who plays Angela Martin on the US version of The Office, was on Conan O'Brien just last night. Because I like this actress and read Angela's blog, I made sure to watch it. As it turned out, she was hysterically funny. Angela is from North Texas and she had some great stories to share about her first time in New York City (as an intern on the Conan O'Brien show, ironically enough) and her early jobs.  Read more »

Today was my check-up with my medical oncologist to see how I am doing on Tamoxifen. Mostly, my side effects have been that weird mid-thigh pain and the low back pain. I think that's all, though it is always hard to tell what is causing what. I've been edgy lately, but maybe that's just the holidays.

Both the nurse practitioner and the oncologist asked me about hot flashes or night sweats, which are often a problem for women who take this drug. I told them nope, none of those. They seemed surprised, but the doctor did say that they have seen a few women who don't get them.  Read more »

I was talking on the phone with Kathy today as I paced into the bedroom. The girls started running after me, jumping on the bed excitedly and meowing. Lola rubbed her cheeks against the bedpost finial. Tilly looked at me with huge eyes, both happy and expectant.

It was clear they were convinced that I was going to give them fish treats. But I didn't tell them they were getting treats. What was up with that? I told Kathy what was going on and she just laughed.

"I get it! You were talking to me about your treatment. They heard, ‘blah blah blah treat blah blah...' You better be careful what you say around them. Now you owe them some fish treats!"

She was right. Tabbies!

Kathy went out for secret shopping today. At her last stop, something weird happened with her car and now her key won't turn in the ignition. At all. So she's stuck in a cold, dark parking lot with no idea how to get her car moving.

She called me and I immediately launched a web search on the problem. I found a forum where a bunch of Chrysler owners were talking about this issue. Kathy tried a number of suggestions that I read off, but none of them helped. So, she called roadside assistance while I headed out to meet her. (I wasn't going to leave her in a dark parking lot alone.) On the way, I grabbed a couple of rubber mallets so we could try yet another potential solution.  Read more »

Kathy and I are preparing to give her second car to my sister. She hasn't driven this car for a while; she kept it just in case her newer car broke down, as a back up, but she really doesn't need it any longer. Before we give it away, we want to do some bodywork on it. Kathy had this car when she lived in San Francisco and had to park on the street. Let's just say that not everyone in a big city is respectful of other people's property. Vandals had snapped off the side view mirrors and let them dangle, and they damaged the rear bumper, too.  Read more »