Ship's Blog: April, 2009

I was at a restaurant where the menu says you can order "a meatball as big as your head." Now, I gotta be honest, a meatball as big as my head is a pretty scary visual, even though I don't think I have an especially big head. I mean...that's a lot of meatball.

I was pretty sure the meatball was no where near as big as my head, but they didn't provide any qualifying statements to reassure me. Not like at that diner I went to where they advertised their Giant Cookie with a 2-foot painting of a chocolate chip cookie, and plastered "not actual size" across it.

With cookies, you don't want people to get their hopes up. With meatballs, though, it's okay to scare them a bit.

While I tried to imagine how big they justified making the meatball to support the head claim (would they say it was the size of my head if it was shrunken in preparation for tribal ritual? Or, maybe, if measured from across the room?) I was reminded of the Apple lawsuit from last year.

In that case, a man in San Diego sued Apple for false advertising on the iPhone 3G. Apple had said that the 3G was "twice as fast for half the price" as compared to the original iPhone. Apparently, the plaintiff had proof that was not so.  Read more »

Recently, some spam got through my email spam filter. Two messages with the same subject line-"My SPERM volume tripled in 3 weeks..."-showed up in my inbox.

Thing is, the "from" names were listed as Elsie Grant and Danielle P Irwin.

I don't know about you, but that is a little too butch for me. Elsie and Danielle, you go, girls, but, uh, how 'bout you don't tell me about it?

Of course, I am also reminded that 3 x 0 = 0.

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This weekend, I drove past a Kragen's Auto Parts store that had an ambulance parked in front of it. First thought: "Omigod, did somebody blow a gasket?"

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As my Facebook friends know (yeah, yeah, it's not all evil), the other day, while contentedly painting away, I was started by the gentle crash of five or six tiaras falling off my art desk, onto the floor. Thank goodness, all rhinestones are intact. But I need to find a new place to put them. Suggestions are welcome. One of my friends, Pam, suggested I get a display cabinet and put them in a pile in there, because I like them in a pile. I'm just not sure I have the wall space for it. Hmmmm.

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I showed a friend some of my recent paintings and she said, "You are such a girly-girl!"

What? Me? A girly-girl?!? Maybe I need to assemble some furniture for you or move something really heavy. The nerve.  Read more »