Cancer: Best Year of Whose Life?
There is a big bru-ha-ha on one of the breast cancer discussion boards right now. You see, yesterday Tony Snow was talking on Good Morning America about his experience with colon cancer. He made the remark, "This sounds weird to anybody who hasn't had cancer, but everybody who's had cancer says the same thing: 'It was the best year of my life.'"
Uh-huh. Let's just say there are a LOT of the women on the discussion board who are pissed off at Tony Snow.
I gotta say, I'm right behind them. I think I understand where Tony is coming from—obviously, cancer was a wake-up call for him, showing him what matters most to him and bonding him to the people he loves. But it's important to note that some of us never needed a wake-up call, and we still got cancer.
There are more than a handful of us who were already wide awake when we were diagnosed. We were busy loving our friends and family, counting our blessings, trying to express ourselves in the best way possible, and in general, looking for ways to lead the most authentic life we could. When cancer came, all it did was make everything harder.
Cancer has an insidious way of bringing fear into your life. If not your own fear (I can vouch for the fact that not all of us our afraid) it usually makes those you love afraid for you. That's a hard to witness.
The treatment for cancer can be devastating to a self image that, for many women, was fragile to begin with. Surgery often leaves you scarred. Treatment can leave you burned, bald, and sick. Much of that passes in time, but exactly what part of this is the best year of your life?
It is not my intention to criticize Tony Show for stating his own truth. It sounds like cancer took him to the next place where he needed to be and I applaud him for seeing that and sharing it. I just ask him not to add to the burden society has for cancer patients—by that I mean the expectation that we all feel grateful and enlightened by our experience. We all came here from different places and we are headed to different destinations, as well. Allow everyone their own, unique experience.
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