Cancer Gift Guide
The other day I was shopping for the perfect ball cap for those no-hair days, when I'm puttering around the house and the doorbell rings, or I want to run out on an errand without putting a wig on. I found a fabulous "Cancer Sucks" cap at choosehope.com. I chose a green bill to set off my lovely bloodshot eyes.
As I was about to check out when I thought, wait, I'll see what other gifts they offer. Oh, my. After a short look around, I felt like I fell into a pit of weirdness. Almost none of these gifts were something I'd ever give anyone who had cancer, or want to receive myself. Now, admittedly, I may not be the average cancer patient and perhaps most people would appreciate these gifts. But I couldn't help recoil in horror at the pink "Cancer Awareness Bear" whose hat sports "three rosettes that represent the three phases of breast cancer treatment; surgery, chemo, and radiation." What the...?!
This led me to question, what WOULD I give to someone who had breast cancer? Here's what I came up with...
Gifts of Distraction
Cancer, cancer, cancer...you know, when you're diagnosed, there are times when you just don't want to hear the word cancer for an entire DAY if you can get away with it. Distractions can be really welcome. Some ideas:
Light-hearted books of short stories, essays, or anecdotes - great for the home or waiting rooms.
Funny movies - think comedic romances, wacky caper movies, silly films, and even SciFi "B" movies that you can't help but laugh at. Select a film keeping your friend's style in mind, whether it's slapstick or cerebral.
Sketch comedy - Nowadays you can find a wealth of sketch comedy on DVD. Saturday Night Live, Kids in the Hall, Whose Line is it Anyway, and many more TV shows are available affordably.
Easy and fun craft projects - If your friend has a creative bent, consider the kits that Klutz makes (usually for kids) that include art supplies. Maybe she wouldn't mind making fairies or silly pom-pom animals while getting her chemo infusion, you know? I would love that!
Useful Gifts
Tote bag - with all the schlepping back and forth to the doctor's offices, a tote bag that includes a place to stow a water bottle can be really handy. If you can personalize it for your friend (or make it yourself), all the better!
Journal - whether it's designed to record thoughts about their journey or keep track of chemo medications and side effects, a diary can be a welcome tool. You can find beautiful journals in many stores, or pick up a plain notebook somewhere like Target and decorate it for your friend. Include a lovely pen and write a note inside the front cover to complete the gift.
Sleep cap - if your friend is undergoing chemo that will cause hair loss, a cozy sleep cap can be useful for keeping her head warm at night. Try headcovers.com for some options, or use a pattern from Bev's Country Cottage link list and make your own.
Free babysitting, meals, yardwork, and other favors - cancer treatment wipes a person out; if you can help relieve some of the necessary tasks of daily life, you are a hero. But here's an important tip: don't give certificates that you want your friend to redeem, because as grateful as she is, she probably won't. Instead say, "I'm making you a meal this week; which day do you want me to drop it by?"
Gifts of Comfort & Love
Blanket or quilt - a snuggly blanket or a heartwarming quilt that has been chosen or made with your friend in mind can be very touching. Include a note about what you'd like to wrap her up in and your sure to get a grateful smile in return.
Slippers - same idea as the blankie. ;-)
Handmade jewelry - personally, I'm not a fan of mass-produced jewelry for cancer awareness, but if someone handmade a bracelet for me to symbolize their love for me, I'd be reduced to a puddle of happy sniffles.
Warm wishes and loving thoughts - cancer can take a person through sad and dark times. A letter or a little book where you write loving thoughts for your friend--with words she can revisit whenever she wants--is a great way to remind her that even when she's down, your love is with her. If you can organize a group of friends and family to write notes that you collect together, all the better.
Gifts of Empowerment
Sassy T-shirts - How about a shirt that says "I'm kickin' cancer's ASS" or "Cancer doesn't know who it's dealing with" or "Fight like a girl"? Those are just a few of the feisty t-shirt slogans you can find online. Take a browse through some of those available through CafePress.
Spirit tokens - whether it's a a special stone or a charm bag, consider giving your friend a token that celebrates her spirt and her strength. Of course, she might not remember her strength at all, which makes it a great time for you to remind her of all the ways she's shown her strength to you while you've known her.
Stories of triumph - if you know your friend would recieve this well (and it all depends on where she is in the cancer process) consider giving a book of stories from cancer survivors. Tales of others who've walked the same road can be inspiring and uplifting.
Gifts to Think Twice About
There are some gifts I recommend you avoid unless you are absolutely sure it will be well-received by your friend:
Deep and complex books - I'm normally little-miss-focus, but cancer treatment has given me the brain of a 5-year old with a fever. Maybe your friend is different, but it's safer to stick with things that can be absorbed easily even given frequent interruptions.
Advice on how to live life - Unless you already know that your friend adores books on "life lessons" or "stopping to smell the roses", don't give them. Trust me, a person with cancer KNOWS how precious life is; it's insulting to tell them. And suggesting that they got cancer for a reason...well, that's another article altogether!
Books with health advice - whether it's the latest book on cancer treatment or how to cure cancer the natural way, be very careful sending advice. Always ASK if the person is wants this and always always send it with no pressure. There are a dozen reasons why your friend might not want or need the advice. Whatever you do, don't follow up later with, "So, what did you think about that book I sent?" It's not your job to cure their cancer; it's your job to be loving and supportive of the path they choose.
Hopefully these ideas will light your own creative spark and get you thinking of your own perfect gifts. I'd love to hear more, so let me know what you come up with! And if you and everyone you know would just love a breast cancer awareness bear, well, what do I know?
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