Cancer: Not the Weight Loss Program I'd Hoped For

August 2nd, 2006

When I first told one of my friends that I had cancer, she said, "Well, you get to lose weight!"

"That's what I'm hoping for," I answered, laughing.

I know, I know, what kind of sick bastard am I to see cancer as a weight loss opportunity? But I'm talking about myself; I'm allowed to be sick. (Besides, you have to find your irony where you can at times like this.) I thought, if I have to suffer through cancer treatment, the least I can do is lose weight with less effort. Everyone knows you lose weight if you go through chemotherapy.

Four months have now passed. In today's conversation, this same friend asked me how much weight I had lost since this started. None, I told her.

"Wow," she said, "That's amazing!"

Um, thanks for making me feel good about how even with cancer, I'm overweight. Like it's some amazing stretch that even cancer couldn't make me drop the pounds. (I know she didn't mean it in any bad way; this is just what it triggered in me.)

I told her that actually, a lot of women who undergo breast cancer chemo gain weight. Enough so that they list it the literature they give you. Even my oncologist said, when talking about my desire to lose weight, "Chemo won't do you any favors."

And yet people don't believe me. "Well, the three people I know who had cancer lost weight." Or, "Yeah, but you must just have a really strong constitution and your body is fighting it." They say, "You look really good," when they really mean, "You're not wasting away, are you sure you have cancer?"

I tell you, it makes me more than a little crazy. Personally, I'm delighted that I have come this far through chemotherapy without gaining the 20 to 40 lbs that I hear a lot of women gain. That would just add insult to injury. It's bad enough to find that there is no hidden bonus for me; I would be thoroughly depressed to be penalized for cancer treatment by gaining weight.

Well, whaddya gonna do? People think what they think. One thing is for sure, though. I'm waiting until after chemotherapy is over to start my weight loss regimen, because no way am I letting cancer take the glory for my hard work!

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