Christmas
I have a fantasy of what the winter holidays are like. It's not very detailed; it's more like a video montage that features: beautiful, yummy food food, cold days and warm blankets, the gleam of shiny decorations in metallic turquoise, raspberry, and lime, and kitties snuggled contentedly on the hearth. Somewhere in there are the perfect, handmade presents-creatively hand-wrapped in a way that might make you weep-that I give with a gentle hug to everyone I love.
I have a fantasy and I have a reality. The reality is that I am always nervous and stressed out at Christmas time. No matter how much planning and preparing I have done, however much I've handmade or thoughtfully bought, I am sure it is not enough. I think I should always top what I did the year before but am pretty sure I don't. I worry no one will like what I did. And I get cranky as all get-out because, even if everything else is done beforehand, there will always be something important I forgot at the last minute that must be done on, oh, Christmas morning.
This year, I tried to take pressure off by buying most my gifts (except for some of Kathy's presents). That would have helped a lot, except that I had that wildcard that I am taking Tamoxifen. I knew the drug was working against me when I found myself curled in a ball, sobbing and rocking, all because I thought I might not have gotten Kathy enough presents. What the heck?!? Thank you, modern medicine!
(Those of you who say the holidays are not about presents...well, I don't know how to talk to you.)
Despite the stress and anxiety, though, things worked out in the end. Kathy and I had a very nice gift exchange on Christmas Eve, exchanging gifts that ran the gamut from silly to practical to inspired. Very cool gifts!
All my presents for the family were wrapped on Christmas morning, but I did not have my cards ready. Instead of driving myself crazy making nine cards for everyone, I made only three cards: one for each family. I know, what a COP OUT! But I am only human.
When it was time to head out, we drove to my sister's house first, with me leading in Kathy's Geo Prizm. As we drove up, I slapped a big red bow on the windshield, then we called my eldest niece out to see. She was so happy to get the car!
Inside, they slipped us some secret gifts before we left for my dad's house. I gave my brother-in-law something I found months ago and thought was awesome: a keychain that can hook up to a TV to play vintage Atari games! My sister gave me these awesome Pirate skull slippers that I'm wearing now:
And my nephew made this amazing gift. He stained and decorated the cask himself, as well as creating the pirate-y note inside. My sister assured me that she bought the bottle of rum, not him!
After this, we headed to my Dad's house. This was his wife's first Christmas with us. I felt really bad for her because she is in the middle of chemo and is feeling very sick. But she wanted to do this. My brother and sister's family were with us, so it was a tight fit.
The gift exchange was very nice and I was surprised at the generosity of my Dad and his wife, given that they are on a fixed income. It looked like most the kids liked their presents, something that always matters to me. My nephew exchanged a knowing smile when he opened his - two books on becoming a video game designer and a Commodore Norrington action figure. Of course, I would know his favorite character from Pirates of the Caribbean!
Funny moment of the gift exchange was when my dad and his wife turned out to have given each other the same gift...TWICE! I guess that's true love!
All in all, very pleasant. Today I am off for brief after-Christmas shopping. All I'm looking for are those big packages of white tissue paper that will be 50% off, as well as some all-purpose white gift boxes. I think that's about all I have stamina for!
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