Critter Season Returns

As the days grow shorter and a deep chill invades the night air, we enter the season of uninvited visitors. And no, I'm not talking about your mother-in-law from Tucson. I'm talking about rodents.

You may remember that since we bought this house a little over a year ago, I've had a crash course in critter control . It seems everyone wants to get inside our house, including rodents, and I've taken it personally. I am turning this home into a fortress with big "RODENTS KEEP OUT!" signs on all the crawlspace vents. However, since these dastardly devils can tunnel their way in from underground, I can't stop them entirely.

It's been quiet since winter, but yesterday, someone moved in.

It started out with me hearing something on the other side of the wall that the TV is on (not an exterior wall). I pressed my ear to the wall and listened. Not a good sound, especially given the wiring behind the wall. Did you know that rats have to gnaw all the time or their teeth grow too long? Talk about an electrical hazard!

As it turns out, the wall in question has a secret door that leads into what I call the "walk-in crawlspace." This house was built on a hill and so it is a split level. The lower level is only half the width of the upper level, because the hillside takes up that extra space. The clever builders put a door downstairs so that you can open it up and see...the side of a hill. It's actually handy, though, in case I want to wire for speakers upstairs or use the area as storage space. I call it The Underworld because it's more than a little creepy.

Well, the other night I heard that creature and I was pissed off. What part of FOUR CATS don't these critters understand?!? Despite the fact that it was 11 pm, I grabbed my high-power Xenon flashlight (with two levels of ultraviolet beams!), swung open the door to The Underworld, then heard him moving maybe six or eight feet away. Eeek! My bravery ran out and I shut the door. I looked worriedly at the electrical outlet over where I heard him. For various reasons that only the previous owner can explain, there is a round hole, maybe two inches wide, below the electrical receptacle. Two inches is practically a six-lane highway to a rat.

I grabbed a piece of metal used for patching that I had set next to the hole previously, thinking that I would "get around to patching it." Pressing it up against the wall with one hand, I called Kathy upstairs with the phone using the other. (Let's hear it for intercom features.) She agreed to go to the 24-hour drugstore right away to buy some steel wool for me.

I waited the very tense 20-30 minutes for her to return. When she came home, I packed the steel wool into the hole and breathed a sigh of relief.

It was only a little later that I heard him run above me, apparently across the ductwork that leads to my office. Tilly jumped on the back of the loveseat and tried to climb the wall to get it. Lola just followed the sound with her head, eyes wide. At this point I remembered that there was a hole in my office wall, too. It used to be used for a phone jack (again, previous owner) but it was left abandoned and without a plate. I ran upstairs to the garage, digging in boxes for the outlet plates that I had leftover. After a moment I found one of those blank plates that have no holes at all. I ran into the office with a screwdriver to put it on. (Of course, it turned out to be tricky to get it on that spot, but no way was I giving up. I was securing our fortress!)

Today I investigated The Underworld to see exactly where this house-crasher was hanging out. I wanted to know precisely where to tell Alfredo to set the traps.

Later tonight, while Kathy and I were watching TV upstairs, both her boys heard our visitor and they ran at top speed over to a living room floor vent. I ran over, too, and laid on the carpet with my ear down, listening. Yep, it was him. The boys were excited because I was hunting with them; they tend to think I'm cool that way. But then I stood up and started stomping really hard on the floor around th event. The boys started to run away and then turned around to look at me in shock. I swear they were thinking, "Alix! What are you doing?!? That is not how you hunt!"

When I came downstairs, Tilly was under the bed, eyes wide. I'm pretty sure that she was tracking the visitor from down here when suddenly a MONSTER started thundering above. Gosh, I'd run away, too!

So, the seasonal battle has begun. I'll have Alfredo out here by Tuesday; I hope this little guy is enjoying his last days. Bwahahahaha!

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