The D Word
Over lunch at Chow in San Francisco, Kathy and I were chatting about Showtime's The L Word. I know we're lesbians and all that (good thing I know that, eh?) but I have to admit...it's not our kind of show. All the women are trendy, well-dressed, sex-starved...and more than a few are mean. Kind of icky people. They are certainly not people we'd want to hang out with, much less watch.
They are, however, what we've always thought of (in horribly stereotypical terms) as L.A. lesbians. You see, there is a bit of a divide - with at least the lesbians I've known - in the San Francisco vs. Los Angeles lesbian aesthetic. The stereotype goes that L.A. lesbians are pretty, fit, and overly concerned with appearances. S.F. lesbians are pierced, feisty, and overly concerned with political correctness.
Considering this (as well as the fact that it's probably different in other cities) Kathy suggested that maybe Showtime should branch out and make L Word a franchise operation, a la CSI. You know, with versions for other cities like The L Word: Chicago and The L Word: Miami.
Of course, they could do also do other words, too. The L Word: San Francisco would no doubt have to be called The D Word. You know, the gritty version.
Kathy then said that if it was in San Francisco, it would probably star ten gay men and just one lesbian. I laughed in agreement, saying that they'd probably keep trying to give the lesbian a makeover, while she swatted their hands away and insisted that she doesn't DO rouge.
Or maybe there would be more lesbians, even whole classes of lesbians. The well-heeled San Francisco lesbian professionals might continually squabble with the Berkeley granola lesbians who work for nonprofits and couldn't even afford dinner in the City. For a tawdry nighttime soap, it could have potential.
However, unlike The L Word, the shoes worn on The D Word wouldn't be about Italian designers, that's for sure. They'd be about how small a footprint their materials made on Mother Earth. Conversations would go more along these lines..."And then she ate a steak RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Like the future of the earth and her creatures matters nothing!" Filming would be a challenge, what with so many characters meeting on public transit. They'd be more likely to make out in the back of someone's Prius than in a limo. And all the protest and rally scenes would require lots of background artists.
But, come to think of it, The D Word probably wouldn't fly. After all, what straight guy is going to get off watching a more realistic version of lesbians getting it on? And near as I can tell, that must be the main audience for The L Word. Otherwise, I just can't explain it.
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