Did I Mention the Food?

This past weekend, our friend Kelly Kilmer was up from Southern California, teaching art classes in San Anselmo. She was kind enough to accept our dinner invitation on Saturday, as well as meet us for breakfast and shopping on Monday. Being the good attentive blogger that she is, of course she provides an account of our adventures online, where she says she has never eaten with anyone (with one exception) who treats food with such high regard.

Color me red, but it's true. Kathy and I do hold food in high regard. Having both spent years living in San Francisco, where fabulous restaurants are as plentiful as drag queens, our palates have been spoiled by the skill and creativity of many chefs. Now in the suburbs, we still seek out ecstatic dining experiences, though they tend to be harder to come by.

For Kelly's visit, we decided to indulge a bit. We made reservations at Skates on the Bay (Berkeley) for Saturday night. We'd been meaning to eat there for years and never got around to it. Being seated at our table at 8pm turned out to be perfect, as we could watch the sun go down over the bay as we dined. Definitely atmospheric.

With our huge menus in front of us, the first decision we were faced with was the appetizer. Kelly, that rogue Bostonian, is not a fan of crab, so that helped narrow down our choices, which were considerable. After much discussion, we weighed our choices of either the Macademia-encrusted warm brie with apples OR the seafood corn dogs. The latter was mainly out of curiosity. I mean, seafood...corn dogs? You have to wonder! We asked our server what she thought of the dogs and she gave us a brief-yet-evocative negative headshake that made us erupt with laughter. We chose the brie, and was it ever yummy! Not for the diet conscious, obviously. We were dining in denial.

For her entrée, Kelly immediately settled on asiago-almond crusted sea scallops, scallops being her favorite seafood. Kathy and I, however, needed time to debate the merits of the various choices before making our own decisions. Do we choose two entrees that we both liked and then share? Do we just entertain our selfish (or shellfish!) desires? In the end, Kathy went with the wild Alaskan salmon, while I chose the crab-stuffed halibut with an addition of garlic prawns. I slipped her some halibut and she wisely did not offer me any salmon. (Not my thing.) Everything was delicious, though I could have backed off a bit on the butter choices for mine. Did I stop eating it? Nope!

We didn't have much room for dessert (I certainly had left food on my plate) but it seemed a crime not to try something. We reviewed the dessert menu to find something to share. I laughed over the listing, "vanilla burnt cream." Um, don't they mean crème brulee? Kelly suggested that must be the "freedom fries" variation. Snort! We also had a good laugh over the dessert drinks, a concept that none of us understands. Apparently, Skates offers a signature Chai'tini. I can only assume that is...chai tea crossed with a martini? It made us scrunch up our faces just to think about it.

"Maybe that's what you order with the seafood corn dogs?" Kelly offered. That would explain it! Playing it safe, we chose some sort of flourless chocolate torte to split between us and just took enough to taste. It was a good choice.

We parted, full tummies and smiling faces (due to such good company!) with plans for Monday. Before we drove off, Kelly opened her trunk and pulled an amazing, mind-blowing bag of treasures that I just can't tell you about (or you will hate me until I die, it was THAT GOOD. Mon dieu!) and gave it to us. We raced home to pour over that for half an hour.

Monday, we reconvened at Bette's Oceanview Diner. We had been trying to eat there for years, but we are impatient and there was always too much of a wait. But on a Monday it was doable. Once our menus were open, the discussion began anew.

"What are you having? I was considering the omelet, but they use real cheese and I like American and since it's Berkeley, I'm pretty sure that if I ask for American cheese they will point out that it is not actually food if you have to label it 'food product' so that people know...."

"You're probably right. I'm considering the corn beef hash because I haven't had that in years and if it's homemade, not from a can, it could be really good. From a can...bad childhood memories."

"Oooh, the pancakes sound good. Maybe we could get a short stack and split them? Or would that be too much?"

"I was going to suggest that."

Kelly just watches with a bemused look.

Once our order was placed, Kathy told Kelly how most the people in her office are not from the U.S. and are fascinated by stories about the food from her Midwestern upbringing. To them, it's exotic. So she shares tales of the sweet corn festival of her Wisconsin youth, with salt shakers hanging from clotheslines and bricks of butter to roll the ears in. She describes the strange casserole combos of the 1960s as they listen curiously, and even tosses in some facts about the anti-margarine color laws that Wisconsin was the last to repeal. We can't help but wonder if they think she is making it up.

"Did you tell them about boil n' bag meals yet?" I asked curiously. "Okay, they weren't Midwestern, per se, but those make for good stories."

Kathy brightened. "Not yet; that's a good idea!"

Focusing back on the food in front of us, I confessed that while my breakfast was notably fabulous, with wonderfully fluffy scrambled eggs, I was less than entranced by my scone. I should have ordered a muffin.

"You know what I like?" Kathy said to Kelly. "Muffin tops!"

"Yeah," Kelly nodded. "Muffin tops are good."

Kathy said, "I have to admit, that was a good idea someone came up with. Muffin tops. But you noticed that they don't sell bottoms. Where do all the bottoms go?"

We all sat quietly for a nanosecond, wondering exactly where all the bottoms went, before giggling like fourth graders.

So, that's what it is like to dine with Kathy and Alix. If you don't like to talk about food, you might just be driven insane. But if you like to laugh (and can provoke us like Kelly does!) you will probably have a good time.

Thank you to Kelly for playing on our show; she is 'wicked good' company. And, dear reader, if you are ever in Berkeley, be sure to eat at Skates or Bette's - you're tummy will thank you!

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