First, Second, and Third Alert

Being geek girls, Kathy and I have equipped are home with a smoke and carbon monoxide alarm system that is very cool. Or, at least, it is supposed to be.

Here's how it works. We have three alarm units that are networked together. Each one is programmed with its location, such as "hallway" or "kitchen." When an alarm goes off, it states the nature of the problem and its location (through a voice alert) followed by an alarm sound. Then, the other two alarms get a signal and they, too, repeat the message.

It's much more informative than having an alarm go off and not knowing where the problem is. Also, because all the alarms go off when one is triggered, everyone in the house is alerted. Trust me, just the voice from the alarm will send Tilly scurrying under the bed with huge eyes.

Great idea. Little did I know that it would become a source of sleepless nights for me.

You see, in addition to issuing a voice alert when smoke or carbon monoxide is detected, the alarms also shout out a warning when the battery needs to be changed. The speakers are kind of tinny, so I don't always understand what the voice-whom I've named Skip-is actually saying. Maybe that's because it always wakes me out of a dead sleep to change the battery, so I'm not really awake until I hear the location.

As you know, on Sunday the alarm woke me at 4 am to change the kitchen battery. Within two days, it went off at 5 am to alert me to change the hallway battery. We joked that the studio was next, and it was - within 24 hours. Now, you might say this makes sense, as I must have changed all the batteries at the same time. Not true; I changed one or two of them just a couple of months ago during similar middle-of the-night hours. Why is it always the middle of the night? I can't figure out how the alarms KNOW.

I told Kathy that I was going to write down the dates this time. That way, if they do it again within six months, I'll have proof that something is really wrong.

Then, like clockwork, the hallway alarm did it again, at 3 am. AAUUUURRRGGGGHHH! It was followed by the studio alarm. Is this insane or what?

Finally, I got online, did a search, and found out about a voluntary recall that's being done on certain First Alert alarms due to a malfunctioning battery sensor. I called First Alert today and they are sending us three new alarms, with instructions on what to send back to them on the old alarms.

Thank the gods!

Now, if only I could find out what technology they are using to issue errors only between the hours of 2 am and 5:30 am. I'm sure there must be a way to use this power for good instead of evil.

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