High-Definition Slut
Yeah, that's me. HD ho.
Ever since we had the prize-won plasma TV put in the studio - where I often hang out during the day with my laptop - I have descended to new levels of high-definition sluttish behavior. Pretty much, if it's in HD and you turn it on, I will watch a show. I wouldn't be surprised to find that my eyes turn into black-and-white spirals that rotate.
Kathy knew something was up when she found me watching Inside the NBA on TNTHD. "Look at the pretty colors on the set!" I exclaimed. "Wow, and the close-up of that trophy...isn't it a-maaaazing?" Followed by a heavy, dreamy sigh. I was surprised she didn't smack me across the face and yell, "Snap out of it, woman!"
Lucky for me, there is some good TV now being broadcast in HD - like The X-Files and Northern Exposure. I don't care if I've seen the show before. It's even COOLER in high-definition...you have to see it again. Besides, The X-Files rules in any format.
Along with good TV, I've also been watching more HD movies (as broadcast on HD channels). I am amazed how much it feels like a theater experience. The landscape alone in Pride and Prejudice made my heart ache. The colors in Memoirs of a Geisha made me tear up. It's possible I'm a wee bit visual.
Yet there are some things that are converted to HD that I don't quite understand. I kid you not, INHD showed Batman (the movie) in true HD. Oh, no, I don't mean Tim Burton's Batman with a wacko Michael Keaton in a fabulous black turtleneck. Not that one. I mean the 1966 movie staring Adam West and Burt Ward. You know, the one sporting the tag line, "He's here big as life in a real bat-epic." Yeah, THAT one. Crisp and perfect picture in wide-format...and why? I do not know.
Still, I watched it for 10 minutes with those spirally eyes!
I realize now that I shouldn't have disclosed my HD indiscretions. Now my enemies will know my secrets. When the big show-down happens, I in my super-hero spandex costume confronting the villains, my purple and red hair inexplicably flowing around my face in a wind-tunnel effect, all they will have to do is hit the TV remote at the right moment.
"You can't foil me that easily, Annoying Telemarketer Girl and Crazy-Mean Driver Guy! I am above your silly attempts at...wait. Is this the one where Cigarette Smoking Man offers Mulder a cure to Scully's cancer? Look at that picture, that's amazing...can you pass me the chips?"
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