The Importance of Thinking Ahead

I have officially become a hypochondriac.

Yesterday, while heading home after the movies and a couple of errands, I was going to swing into Trader Joe's to get some dinner fixings. Only, I had a pain in that little divot behind my earlobe that was really distracted me. It had started an hour earlier when I was at Target and it just kept hurting more and more. It felt strange and it made me think too much about blood flow. Could that be a major artery or something? What on earth could go wrong there? It's behind my earlobe, for goodness' sake!

As I approached Trader Joe's, the pain shifted to my temple. Omigod, whatever it is, it is on the move! Is this one of those mystery pains I can ignore or is this something serious? It sure hurt a lot, but as someone who has chronic pain, I usually try to tune that out. But, but...what if it is a blood clot, moving up my neck and head to my brain? Maybe I'm about to have an aneurysm or stroke or whatever you get when a thing that causes throbbing pain moves into your brain!

I had to think quickly and assess: if I did have a stroke, where would be the best place to have one? At a crowded Trader Joe's at 5:45 pm? I suppose I could get fast EMT help...but that's provided anyone noticed. I wouldn't want to be drooling and flopping on the floor while people stepped over me to get at the hummus. And of course I wouldn't want to bother anyone, anyway. That left the option to skip TJs and just go home to be with my kitties. That wouldn't get me medical care BUT it is much more comfortable. And then if I don't have a stroke, I can check my email, read a book, and cuddle with the girls. Which would be, like, a bonus.

Of course, we won't have any dinner. But who needs dinner when you are celebrating the joys of surviving another day in this fragile, dangerous world? Assuming the blood clot doesn't take me out, that is.

An hour and a half later, when Kathy got home and we left for a restaurant (yep, really, no food) I confessed to her my tale of the phantom stroke threat and my horror at becoming a hypochondriac.

"Did you think this way before you turned 40?" she asked.

I paused for a moment. "Come to think of it, no."

"It's turning 40 that does it to you," she said, nodding knowingly. "You're just waiting for everything to give out now. And what's worse, it is giving out."

She certainly has a point.

Later in the evening, as we tried to find a parking space and I passed by a handicapped spot, I said, "You know, I was thinking earlier today about what would happen if I lost the use of my legs. How would I get around? Would I be able to do it myself? I hope I wouldn't need an attendant, because you know how I don't like people around me all of the time. I need my space. That would really suck if I had to have an attendant."

Kathy just stared at me. Which, I suppose, is the only correct response.

Well, I'm off to check out the latest advances in state-of-the-art wheelchairs. While I'm at it, I might give my insurance company a ring and find out what my coverage is for stroke rehabilitation. Just in case, you know.

I hope all my readers have a lovely day!

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