Make Your Own Lesbian Chocolates

May 29th, 2007

What makes these tasty treats "lesbian"? The secret lies in your choice of a mold and your wicked imagination.

A plate of molded chocolates with goddess designs and swirly suggestive heart shaped designs

Materials

  • Meltable wafers for candy-making — you can find these at cake decorating stores and some craft stores. I used chocolate-flavored ones.
  • Microwave-safe bowl
  • A spoon
  • Candy or soap molds that look lesbian (soap molds should be unused — you don't want leftover fragrances mixing with food products!)

About the Molds

Empty soap moldsWhen shopping for soap molds, I encountered two types of molds that are great for this project:

  • Goddess figures that seem appropriate for honoring women
  • Abstract designs that could be interpreted as artistic expressions of a woman's body

With the second category, it's all a matter of interpretation. Either you see it or you don't. Or maybe you need to cock your head and squint a bit and then it comes clear. It's quite possible that the mold manufacturer would be shocked at my dirty little mind. I am losing no sleep over it.

For this project, I used the Heart with Scrolls mold by Milky Way and the Goddess mold by Bramble Berry. Milky way also makes a Venus of Willendorf mold. You can buy all of these from Bramble Berry. Update: The Heart with Scrolls may have been discontinued, but look around: new molds may inspire you.

Making the Candy

1. Put the candy wafers in a microwavable bowl. Melt in your microwave in 15-30 second intervals, stirring between bursts.

Melted chocolate in a glass bowl, ready to be poured

2. Stir the candy well to make sure it is evenly melted.

3. Mix in any additives now (for example, if you want to add crisped rice cereal).

4. Pour the candy into the molds with a spoon.

Pouring chocolate into the clean molds

5. Tap the mold on your worksurface to remove any air bubbles in the candy.

A freakish white ghost hand taps molds full of liquid chocolate against the counter

That hand looks freakish, like a visitor from beyond!

6. Leave the candy to set.

Molds full of liquid chocolate, ready to harden

7. When hardened, you can just pop it out of the mold and voila! Tasty gifts for your sweetheart!

Tips, Tricks, and Recommendations

For variety, you can mix things into the chocolate wafers before filling the molds — like crisped rice cereal. Yum!

Before you make a whole lot of these, you might want to try out a small batch. I found out that the pseudo-chocolate wafers give me stomach cramps. If you're more industrious than I, you can try melting real chocolate and skip the cheap wafers. The heavy-duty soap molds usually can withstand the heat needed for melting true chocolate.

If you're super impatient, you can pop the filled molds into the freezer to make them cool faster.

Note: This is a "best of AlixNorth.com" post. I first posted it in 2004 on an earlier version of this site. I had to repost it as I get so many visitors looking for the lesbian chocolates. I've brought it back by popular demand -- I hope it's useful for all those, um, lesbian chocolate emergencies out there.

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