Margie & Norm Are PUNISHING Me
Today I stopped by a clothing store to try to find an outfit to wear to a graduation event. Actually, a dressy blouse would do - something classic and understated. Unfortunately, though, it is not classic and understated season. It is Summer, when bright colors, short sleeves, and wrinkled faux linen abound. I could shop all I wanted; there was nothing suitable.
Cranky at my lack of success, I decided to see if I could find a new bra, since I was already there. When you've been rotating through four bras as you wear them around the clock for 54 days in a row (AND YES, I'm keeping track) you tend to discover all the deficiencies of your bra wardrobe. (The constant bra-wearing is because of my surgery in April, not a masochistic personality streak.) I was overdue for a new bra, so I tried on everything they had in a size remotely near what I wanted. I was lucky enough to find a style that worked and bought two identical ones.
Leaving the store, I grumbled in my head all the way to the car. Oh, sure, I had bras, but I still didn't have anything to wear to the graduation. As I drove home, I thought about it more and my spirits sank. Why couldn't I be someone who could shop at just any store? Why did I have to be hard to fit? Was I really all that backward in my tastes, or did all the latest clothing styles suck? And what was I going to do about the graduation? AURGH!
By the time I drove up to my house, I was a tangled mess of cranky, fussy, and bummed out. This just wasn't going to work at all and now I'd have to call in dead. "Debbie? Hi. I'm sorry, I can't go to your daughter's graduation. I'm dead. <pause> No, not mostly dead. Totally dead, I think. <pause> Uh-huh. Well, send my regards. From the Other Side."
Oh, and wouldn't that go over well.
In full-scale fussy-mode, I picked up the bags from the day's shopping trips as I swung out of the car. The art supply bag twisted around the clothing store bag in a battle. The two tugged my handbag down my arm and I saw something flutter out, onto the driveway.
Reaching down, I saw that it was a fortune from a fortune cookie. I save these for collage; I had already forgotten this one from the weekend. It read:
Oh, Margie and Norm, VERY FUNNY. Bra jokes. Real high-brow stuff ya got there!
Sigh. I know they were just trying to cheer me up, but
really...a pretty blouse in my size (on sale!) is the way to my heart today. But, good try.
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Hey Alix,
I know how you feel and it is NOT just you. The current styles and fashions suck! They are mean for 8 foot tall amazon twigs w/o womanly curves! I HATE clothes shopping. I hate shoe shopping. I hate shopping unless it revolves around art supplies or books. Maybe you could just make yourself a paper blouse ;)
I always find stuff when I'm not looking and broke if that helps. So maybe you could leave the house w/o any money and then have what you find put on hold. I'm so weird, I know....
Good luck. Last year was my sister's wedding and I found NOTHING that I liked. NOTHING. She wouldn't let me wear what I liked. 50 dresses later I finally found something I liked at Macy's for an arm & a leg. GRR
Thanks for understanding, Kelly! I know, if it was art supplies or books, the shopping would be fun. (I bought Golden Acrylic paint before going to the clothing store just to calm myself down.)
Kathy also suggested Macy's, so I stopped by today after seeing At World's End for the sixth time. ;-) They had a HUGE one day sale and the selection was really good. I haven't been into Macy's much in the past 9-10 years because I used to go with my mother and didn't want to go after she died. Anyway, the three tops I found were marked down multiple times and THEN they discounted them again at the register! OMIGOD! I paid less than half price. I guess Margie and Norm were apologizing for their little joke yesterday. ;-) My sister will be happy when I don't call in dead.
Oh no the sale was today! Eeeps! LOL I wanted to go for tights and a bathrobe (um, not to be worn together obviously LOL).
I'm very happy that you found shirts to wear and at great prices too (hey, more $ for important stuff like art supplies-who needs clothes!?!?!)
Have you really seen AWE 6 times?
We're so happy that you won't call in "dead". That's no fun..unless your Harold or Maude ;)
And Hurray for Margie & Norm!!
I really, really have seen it six times (mostly matinees). Viewing it in a digital theater is the best. My favorite theater only has one digital screen and will be turning it over to another movie on Friday, so I had to fit another view in.
I saw the first movie TWENTY-FOUR times in the theater...once after the DVD release! I did not see Dead Man's chest as much, because I was pretty sick from chemo then.
Kelly...I agree with you...I hate clothes shopping...especially for pants (shoot me know!) and shoes...I just don't get them. Especially, these weird ones with the pointed toes...what is that about?
I do have a problem shopping for bras too...but, I am the opposite of you Alix!
Here I am at the bra store:
"Um...do you have anything smaller than and 36 A?"
"Uh...what do you mean?"
"Uh...can I just look at your sports bras?"
"Sure"
I certainly appreciate it that you won't be calling in dead, because your niece is looking forward to seeing you. :-)
I'll admit, I've been going through the same thing as far as what to wear to said graduation. To make matters worse, I've been shopping with my daughters, who are finding all kinds of wonderfully flattering things that would actually look pretty nice in a plus size, yet the moment I get to "my" department, it's like walking into a different store. Who thinks up these awful designs and patterns? Who thinks women actually want to purchase them?
Anyway, by some quirk of fate I actually came across a not-so-disgusting blouse which I purchased without trying on, and it turned out to be nice.
And I'm totally jealous because I've only been able to see AWE once, and that was in the company of 7 teenagers (an experience in and of itself). I have some catching up to do. Oh, yeah, and I have to get my DMC DVD back from the charter bus company. Gee.
So I look forward to seeing you in your new top !
Hugs
Your Seester
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