Meet Dr. Tigh
Do you know who Colonel Tigh is on Battlestar Galactica? (In the new series, not the original late-70s series.) Well, he's the ship's XO, an alcoholic, ornery officer played to perfection by Michael Hogan. Kathy and I get a big kick out of Colonel Tigh. He's just a total crankmeister, the type to snarl lines like, "Ever see a man die of dehydration? Well, let's hope you never do. It isn't pretty." Cracks me up just typing that. Who can resist someone who talks like that?
If we created a Battlestar Galatica drinking game, you'd have to take a drink every time Tigh delivered a Negative Nelly line. Here's an example of classic Col. Tigh conversation, which in our game would make you drunk:
Tigh: The only nearby gravity wells are the gas giant and this moon. If the gas giant pulled her in, its radiation would fry her like an egg. [Drink]
Adama: What about the moon?
Gaeta: The spectroscope people would call the atmosphere as CO2, methane, some argon. The clouds are mostly hydrocarbons. It's cold as hell down there, but she could survive on the surface.
Tigh: Until her oxygen runs out. [Drink again]
Adama: When?
Gaeta: 46 hours and change, sir.
Tigh: A hell of a long time to stay in one place. What if the Cylons appear? [Drink some more]
Adama: They won't, not for a while.
Tigh: What makes you say that?
Adama: Sending a patrol instead of the base ship tells me that they didn't even know we were here. So, they're searching a lot of other places, places with potential supplies.
Tigh: Like staking out water holes in the desert.
Adama: Right. If we sent eight fighters to search an entire star system for 60-odd ships, it would take us...
Tigh: Weeks?
Adama: Assume they're better and faster. It'll take them days.
Tigh: A lot of assumptions you're making. [Drink, drink, drink!]
So, what does this have to do with "Doctor" Tigh? Dr. Tigh is the new nickname Kathy and I have for my vet. She's not an alcoholic nor is she cranky, but she makes Col. Tigh remarks at the worst possible moments. What is entertaining in a TV character can be freaky in real life. Here's an example from today's conversation:
Alix: In the past day, Lola has started sneezing a lot, her eye is watering, and she is squinting constantly. I'm worried about what this might be.
Dr. Tigh: I think I know what's up. Prednisone is an immunosuppressant. She probably caught a cold from another kitty. Hmmm, unless she had the feline herpes virus dormant inside her...
Alix: I think she does, because when I got the girls as kittens, they had colds and eye problems.
Dr. Tigh: Then that's probably it. The prednisone brought it out. Hopefully it didn't go into the cornea, that would be really painful...
Alix (fearfully): Cornea?
When she talked about the issues with Lola's high percentage of eosiniphils and mentioned hypereosinophilia, I swear I half-expected her to say, "Ever see a cat die of hypereosinophilia? Well, let's hope that's not what it is. It isn't pretty." YIKES! Okay, she DIDN'T say that, but I was already scared and it had the same effect.
You may be wondering why I keep her as a vet given her penchant for worst-case scenarios. Well, as it turns out, she is damn good at what she does. She's committed to following down all the leads in mysterious illnesses. In the case of Tilly, who has a rare feline health condition, Dr. Tigh is the only vet who provided me with information about other cases. So, unnerving bedside manner or not, I'm sticking with her...at least as long as my heart holds out.
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