Moments from a Weekend

My head hurts today, so I'm just going to share a few silly moments from my weekend:

She Starts Me Up On Purpose

Kathy and I were out driving this weekend when she told me about a big accident that happened in Southern California. Only, she said, "I think it was on the 5 or the 101 - I'm pretty sure it was the 5."

My eyes were on the road, so I couldn't see her smirk. She was cranking me up on purpose.

You see, here in Northern California, we don't feel compelled to add superfluous articles in front of highway nouns. It's not "the 101"; it's 101! I don't take "the 680 to the 24 to the 80" to get to Berkeley. I take "680 to 24 to 80." Or, if I'm feeling extra fancy, I take Interstate-680!

But in Southern California - or maybe just Los Angeles - they do this weird thing, and I just don't get it. I don't know anyone outside of L.A. who prefaces a freeway-name with "the." It just sounds stupid! The only thing possibly MORE stupid than that is how crazy it makes me to hear it. Kathy sure got a chuckle watching my eyebrows move around while I tried not to react.

She calmed me down by pointing out that the news reports on the accident (at least, the national ones) deleted any stray articles of speech. The world was not spiraling into the Abyss; I could relax.

All this makes me think that Brits must think we are nuts with all our remarks about "attending A university" and "going to THE hospital." I'm not sure where we picked that up, given that our language came from them. Which worries me, is L.A. the wave of the future? Oh, say it isn't so!

Walk Like an Egyptian

Seems like on every street corner around here, there's been a sign advertising the Sixth Annual Pharaoh's Festival held at the local masonic temple. The signs proclaim food, music, and free admission! Fun for the whole family!

In my head, an ancient Egyptian festival is much more fabulous than I think the actual event can manage. I picture a venue like the lobby of The Luxor in Las Vegas, with plenty of gorgeous, painted serving girls with golden gowns milling about with trays laden with dates and wine.

However, I don't think the local masonic temple is quite the venue for my vision. From the outside alone, it looks nothing like those lovely displays of architecture you see in the masonic temples of other cities. This one looks more like...well, a former country-western bar. Or a truck stop. We'll call it, a different kind of architectural character.

But nonetheless, that's where the Pharoah's Festival is, and everyone is invited to come buy faux ancient wares while having your face painted like Tutankhamen's sarcophagus. Because, why not?

You can imagine our regret at having to pass on the fun (busy schedule, don't you know) but we were going to drive by it on our way home. Just to get into the spirit of things, I suggested Kathy stick her head out the car window as we drove by, shouting, "Hail the Sun God! He is the Fun God! Ra, Ra, RA!" You know, just to show our support.

But she didn't do it. Party pooper.

My Fangirl Moment O' The Week

Home Depot opened a Design Center in Concord this weekend. I know because they sent us no less than ELEVEN invitations. My friend who lives nearby received none. Clearly, Kathy and I are at the top of the A List. Go us!

(I think the Home Depot spies know my friend shopped at Lowes for her recent kitchen remodel. Whereas I am known for playing the home improvement field like the cheap-and-easy DIYer that I am, hot for the latest deal. You can see why they would think they have a chance with me.)

Despite all the invitations and even a write-up in the paper, I'm not sure why the Design Center is such a big deal. I say this mainly because it has been placed in the same spot as a former...EXPO center! Which was owned by...Home Depot! They closed the EXPO center maybe a year and a half ago, refitted it, and then some book liquidation company moved in. The liquidators stayed a few months and then appeared to go under. Then Home Depot, who must own the building, spent time and money to refit it all over again again, this time to transform it into a "Design Center," which is TOTALLY different than an EXPO Center.

Um, I think. Well, the shopping carts are a different color, anyway.

Our reason to attend was David Bromstad, HGTV's first DesignStar and host of Color Splash, was appearing at the event. I'm nothing if not a DIY/Design groupie. Besides, we really liked David - he's a good designer and seemed like a genuinely nice guy.

You may recall that it's my habit to have DIY/Design celebrities sign tools for me. Pat Simpson has signed my beloved Makita drill and Lee Snijders signed my trusty utility knife. So what would David sign? Why, my Grumbacher Color Compass. Perfecto!

After checking out the store and getting more ideas for causing trouble with our home, we found David and got in line for an autograph. We waited behind a gay couple (who no doubt drove in from Walnut Creek) and a woman who was determined to be the next DesignStar. She was having an "it's all about me!" conversation with the guys, making me thankful we were a step back. When she got up to see David, she told HIM that she'd be the next DesignStar. Nice guy that he is, David gave her some solid tips on how to do her audition tape; I'm not sure whether I would have been so patient with her.

When it was our turn, we only had a few minutes to chat, of course. Kathy congratulated him on his show being renewed and I mentioned a recent makeover that we loved. (That one where the walls were gray and he had blues and greens as accents, with that huge wooden piece against the wall that the lamps descended from.) He couldn't have been sweeter: he just radiates warmth, humility, and optimism.

Meeting a celebrity always feels a little silly - I mean, what do you say? - but people like David make it an experience whereby you feel just a little more connected. I like rooting for his continued success. Oh, and guys? I don't know if David is single or not, but he really is as buff and cute as he looks on his show. You might want to look him up; I'm just sayin'.

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