The Reluctant Breast Cancer Mentor
My father's wife (they just married in January) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She went to the doctor about three weeks ago to find out why her breast was red and swollen and why she had stabbing pains in it. Ever since then, it has been a roller coaster of tests, scans, and doctor appointments.
From her symptoms, it sounds to me like inflammatory breast cancer, which is a very aggressive and unusual form of cancer. It often gets misdiagnosed. (If you have never heard of it, please watch this CNN report on inflammatory breast cancer.) When my father told me her symptoms, I didn't say anything about what I thought it might be; I just said yes, she should see a doctor. I didn't want to scare them if it was just an infection. I wish that's what it ended up being.
Her diagnosis means that she is being rushed into chemo immediately, before surgery. When done like this, it is called neo-adjuvant chemotherapy. She'll have almost six months of it before surgery and they haven't detailed what happens next.
I was hoping that the women at her church would be able to provide her with support. As it turns out, many of them have had breast cancer, but they haven't had chemotherapy and aren't able to give her insightful support on that topic. Because of this, I've been spending time on the phone with her to answer her questions and let her know what to expect.
In a very selfish way, I wish this wasn't happening now. I have just left chemotherapy behind myself and find I'm entering a quiet, almost melancholy phase as I process everything that has happened to me in the past six months. It doesn't feel like depression, just introspection driven by a need to heal emotionally. I don't want to relive my experience or be other-focused just now.
That said, I simply cannot allow someone be scared and confused when I am in a position to help, so I will offer whatever is necessary. There is never a good time to have cancer, anyway. My heart goes out to her.
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