Rule #1: Don't Communicate with the Patients

March 5th, 2007

UCSF is trying to drive me crazy. They are succeeding.

I have been waiting since Wednesday afternoon to find out when they want me to come in for the stereotactic core needle biopsy. After all, the surgeon said she wanted it done this week. I figured they'd call me by the end of last week, at least, but ... no call!

I called on both Thursday and Friday, leaving a message for the surgeon's assistant. No one called me back, of course. The way it works now is that you cannot call anyone directly at the Breast Care Center. You have to call and leave a message with a human who hopefully records it correctly. I liked leaving voicemail better - it was more precise - but this is part of their "customer service improvements." Right.

Today I called one more time. This time the person who was taking the message put me on hold while he contacted the assistant. Then he came back to me to report that the delay involved trying to schedule O.R. time, which probably wouldn't be available until after March 13th, and scheduling the doctor's time. He pointed out that my surgeon wouldn't be in until Wednesday.

Oh. My. God. Are they even scheduling the right thing?

I pointed out that O.R. time better mean time in the stereotactic core needle biopsy room, not surgery, because this isn't supposed to be a surgical biopsy. And by "doctor" she better mean the radiologist, because this surgeon doesn't perform the needle biopsies. Aurgh!

Is this a problem of misunderstood biopsy orders or semantics? I don't know! He agreed that I needed to have the assistant call me back. I said please, have her call me even if she doesn't have a date scheduled, so we can clarify what kind of biopsy it is.

Of course, now it's the end of the day and she did not call. I would love to forget about this whole cancer thing but they make me follow up on every little detail and wait forever on scheduling. When it comes to customer service, UCSF really sucks. Great on research and hiring first class doctors, but wow, awful on the customer service. I'm going to go stew for a while.

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