So You Don't Think You Jump to Conclusions, Eh?

August 13th, 2007

Imagine this: You're shopping at the dollar store when you see these glasses in the home improvement section:

A pair of plastic glasses in a package, with a cardboard strip along the tip reading GLASSES

 

Let's see...they are clear glasses with no correction or magnification on the lens. They are oversized. The logo in the upper left corner says, "Tool Bench." What do you think they are?

If you said, "Safety glasses," then I say, "Ha!"

Clearly you are in the habit of jumping to conclusions. Why, just by turning the package over, we learn:

Back of package reads 'Warning: This protective goggles are not unbreakable and are not designed for welding/cutting, liquid, solvent insulating and or spraying applications.'

 

Warning: This protective goggles are not unbreakable and are not designed for welding/cutting, liquid, solvent insulating and or spraying applications.

Grammar issues aside, these are not safety glasses. They are...um...uh...glasses. Just like it says on the package. Protective goggles that just don't happen to...protect.

Yeah.

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On August 13th, 2007 Miss Lynne (not verified) says:

hee hee...maybe they are a fashion statement? Since they were in the dollar store maybe you could buy some beads...big ol' orange ones and then get some glitter...oh, yellow glitter...and then get your handy dandy glue gun...and have at it:) Then, you could buy that straw hat next to the googles and then ya gots yourself and ansamble!

Ah...my mind....quite the fantasy land!

On August 13th, 2007 alix says:

The irony, which I know you sensed, is that we bought these glasses (jumping to conclusions!) with the idea of tarting them up much as you described, but to serve as safety glasses when making art. You get what you pay for, that's for sure! Crazy us to assume they might also serve as a BARRIER against flying things! What will I think up next?

Your fashion statement is much more what they had in mind. Obviously. 

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