Confessions of a TV & Film Lover

This past week has been a whirlwind of art, music, Doctor Who, and laundry, with a couple of migraines thrown in. While none have added up to a great story (thus my silence) I do have a few snippets to share.

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping...

The week after a time change (damn daylight savings time) is always confusing for me. I walk around in a fog and everything feels just a little bit...off. It's not that I get any more or less sleep, it's just that things are...slightly wrong. I think it is 11 a.m. and when I glance at the clock, it's 10:05. "Wrong, wrong, wrong," says my lizard brain.

Meanwhile, "bad, bad, bad," says Tilly's tabby brain. That's because suddenly, with no warning, mom starts feeding her an hour late. Just like that! And she even acts casual about it, like this is nothing new.

On top of that, none of Tilly's efforts to fix the problem seem to work. Running at top speed across the room to leap on mom's chest and then rocket away in the other direction doesn't work. Spending an hour meowing non-stop at mom's feet doesn't work. Spending all day looking like the most persecuted cat on the planet doesn't work!

Possibly the worst thing is that mom actually tries to justify her actions with some lame story about how humans, except those in Arizona and parts of Indiana, possess the power to change Time at will. As if. If she's going to lie, you would think she would come up with something better.  Read more »

Lately, I've been considering what to do about the various books in my "to read" stack that have, unfortunately, gone stale. Through no fault of their own, these books have gone unread past their freshness date and now I just can't seem to get myself interested in reading them.

I've never heard anyone talk about the problem of stale books, so I assume this is a personal problem. It usually starts when I buy the book. I'll be getting books on a particularly topic when I see an unrelated book that looks like something right up my alley. There it is, right in front of me, maybe even on sale, and so I get it. I think, this will be cool to read. How clever that I found this!

Only...right now I'm reading the other books, the ones I set out to get, and so the "future read" book goes to the bottom of the pile. Caught up in other endeavors, it stays in that stack - the book stack that is a permanent fixture by my bed - for weeks. Months, even. Until one day I pick it up and think, I should read this.

I think we can all agree that "should" is one heck of a joy-killer. I should clean my shower grout. I should file the stack of paperwork on my desk. And now, I should read this book. The laws of space and matter seems to warp around the word "should" and now the book is three times its original weight. I can tell when I pick it up: it feels heavier. I put it back down.  Read more »

I changed Doctors today and I have to be honest: I'm not adjusting well. No, not at all. I thought it would be no big deal, but it IS a big deal and I'm in a funk.

Maybe you know how this is - you meet your Doctor, feel awkward at first, but over time, he grows on you. You come to understand his way of working and even develop a fondness for his quirks. Maybe it's the way he stays optimistic in the face of uncertainty, his laser-like decision making, or even just the way he says "fanTAStic." I don't know, but you feel comfortable. He makes you smile.

And then one day, without warning, he's gone, and there's a new Doctor in his place. One whom you're supposed to accept and embrace. Only, he's not your Doctor. No, not by any stretch of the term. He's too young to be trustworthy, is more flippant than sarcastic, and even though he's got looks on his side, well, you liked the ears that stuck out a little before. You can't help but feel shaken.

When Kathy called me on the way home tonight, I confessed I'd already changed Doctors, sooner than we expected. She could tell by my voice that I wasn't doing well. "You know, this happens to other people," she counseled. "It's like this for most of us - you're never ready to let go of your first Doctor. And some of us had the same Doctor for years."  Read more »

A month or so ago, Laurie Perry (aka Crazy Aunt Purl) wrote a blog post about Kim & Aggie, the Queens of Clean from How Clean is Your House. That reminded me that, hey, I like that show! Wanting to find any episodes I missed, I promptly set up my DVR to record the thrice-daily showings on BBC America. This would be fun!

I had no idea what I was starting.

For those who haven't seen the original British version of How Clean is Your House, here's how it goes. Kim and Aggie go to a filthy house somewhere in the U.K., usually one that is filled to the brim with clutter as well as dirt. With horror music as their accompaniment, they explore the mess in such a way as to leave no question about how little care the homeowner has taken. They push monster cobwebs to one side, stick their finger into a half inch of rancid fat in the kitchen, and sniff stained carpets and bedclothes in such a way as to make you shudder.  Read more »

In last week's piece, If Our Lives Were Rated by the MPAA..., I included a fun quiz (well, I thought it was fun!) where you could match the film to the wacky-but-true MPAA film rating.

I'm surprised that no one cheated to get the answers. If you go to filmratings.com, you can look up the ratings for thousands of movies. Only films rated after September of 1990 include ratings reasons, which is why I didn't have any older films in the quiz.

So, let's see the answers!

1. Three Ninjas Knuckle Up

N. non-stop ninja action

2. Addams Family Values

I. macabre humor  Read more »

Spending too much time in movie theaters watching previews has led me to wonder: What if our lives (or portions of our lives) were rated like movies?  Read more »

My dream world is very rich; I tend to have long, complicated dreams that, if I take the time to write them down, fill pages. Thank goodness I don't always remember the entire dreams or I'd spend my mornings distracted by the plots. As it is, I usually remember just portions, knowing that they are part of a much larger whole.

The other day, I awakened from one of those lengthy, twisty dreams to remember one distinctive highlight: I married Johnny Depp.  Read more »

Last December, Kathy and I were passing by the TV section at Best Buy when we saw a movie that caught our attention. It was Ultraviolet, the stylized scifi/comic/vampire movie staring Milla Jovovich. Let's face it, Milla is hot, so we were understandably distracted by a scene of her fighting her foe with a flaming sword, all while looking fantastic in a color-changing outfit. We didn't know what movie it was until we got home and I looked it up.  Read more »

Do you know who Colonel Tigh is on Battlestar Galactica? (In the new series, not the original late-70s series.) Well, he's the ship's XO, an alcoholic, ornery officer played to perfection by Michael Hogan. Kathy and I get a big kick out of Colonel Tigh. He's just a total crankmeister, the type to snarl lines like, "Ever see a man die of dehydration? Well, let's hope you never do. It isn't pretty." Cracks me up just typing that. Who can resist someone who talks like that?

If we created a Battlestar Galatica drinking game, you'd have to take a drink every time Tigh delivered a Negative Nelly line. Here's an example of classic Col. Tigh conversation, which in our game would make you drunk:  Read more »

I have a crush on one of the Dove deodorant women. No kidding, a woman on a deodorant commercial has captured my fancy! It must be Spring.

Said woman is in the commercials for Dove Clear where they have women turn their shirts inside out to show that the deodorant doesn't show on their clothes. They say her name is Kelly, but for all I know, it could be Amanda. In addition to being part of the ensemble commercial, Kelly gets her own commercial. She's so cute, I want to tickle her. I already use Dove soap and deodorant, but if I didn't, I probably buy 'em just to get work for Kelly. Ha!  Read more »

Over lunch at Chow in San Francisco, Kathy and I were chatting about Showtime's The L Word. I know we're lesbians and all that (good thing I know that, eh?) but I have to admit...it's not our kind of show. All the women are trendy, well-dressed, sex-starved...and more than a few are mean. Kind of icky people. They are certainly not people we'd want to hang out with, much less watch.  Read more »

Recently, Kathy has turned me on to the horror and humor that is Playmania.

Playmania is a two-hour show on the Game Show Network (a cable channel) that airs from 9-11 p.m. Pacific time, six days a week. It is a take off on Quiznation from the UK. A hot female host walks back and forth on a small set while posing games that people can call in to play. If people get a right answer, they usually win money in the range of $50-$600 (usually $200). You can get more information on the Playmania games from Wikipedia, but suffice to say that most are easy.  Read more »

Yeah, that's me. HD ho.

Ever since we had the prize-won plasma TV put in the studio - where I often hang out during the day with my laptop - I have descended to new levels of high-definition sluttish behavior. Pretty much, if it's in HD and you turn it on, I will watch a show. I wouldn't be surprised to find that my eyes turn into black-and-white spirals that rotate.  Read more »

Yesterday I got rid of the monstrous entertainment center that I've been moving from place to place since the mid-eighties. Monstrous to me is 5 ft high, 5-1/2 feet wide and 20 inches deep, with enough MDF in its construction to make it weigh a ton.

 Read more »

Kathy called me mid-day today to check on something about the house. As she was ending the call, she said, "Oh, remind me later to tell you about what I won." I thought, they probably had a drawing at work and she won movie tickets or something. That's cool.  Read more »

This past weekend, CineMax HDTV channel has been showing all six Star Wars films in high-definition -- over and over again. I hadn't seen the original movies in a long time and, shockingly, I had NEVER seen the most recent three, so it was a good time for me to catch up.

Now, CineMax was showing true high-def (I assume made from the 70mm prints), not upconverted low-res movies, so the picture was startling crisp and clear. Kathy and I watched the original Star Wars (episode IV for you young'uns) upstairs on the big TV. The colors were achingly vivid and vibrant, You could see every detail on the ships, every hair on Chewbacca's coat...wow.  Read more »

Last night on "Justice," the new TV show staring Victor Garber (SpyDaddy from "Alias"), they did a thing on Los Angeles vs. Orange County. The show is about a high-profile L.A. law firm and Victor Garber plays Ron Trott, the media-savvy lead attorney. Okay, I don't think they call him the lead attorney, but I can't remember the term right now.

Anyway, in last night's episode, a case for a client they were defending was going to be tried in Orange County. Ron wanted to try it as first chair, but his partner Luther advised against it, because it's Orange County, not L.A.  Read more »

The new fall season is upon us and for those us unashamed TV-aficionados, it's time to review new offerings to consider what we want to make space for in our precious free time. (Not to mention our DVR hard disk or TiVo box.)

This year I am cynical and find myself resisting the allure of new shows. I can't help but look at each prospect and think, "Yeah, sure, you look good. But are you going to hook me in for three seasons of rampant loyalty and then turn on my ass with embarrassing plots that make me want to disown you, only to con me into watching a finale that betrays everything I ever loved and believed?"  Read more »

I learned a valuable Life Lesson today, one which you may already know. But just in case you DON'T know, I'm going to share it here. It's that important.

Never, under any circumstances, put Junior Mints in your purse.

The scenario: An afternoon movie matinee at a theater that doesn't carry Junior Mints.

The crime: A swing by Walgreens to purchase contraband Junior mints on the way to the theater.

The error in judgment: Discreetly reaching into the purse in a darkened movie theater to open one end of the box, slip out some mints, then close the box again. LIKE IT EVER STAYS CLOSED!

Dun-dun-DUN!  Read more »

After ten days of extreme fatigue, yesterday my energy came back, and the various medicines I was prescribed started working. I wouldn't say I felt healthy, but energy can make up for a whole lot of things.

Of course, I wanted to make up for lost time, so I started cleaning immediately. I even pulled out the vacuum cleaner and started moving furniture in the living room, determined to transform the place before Kathy got home. It was sort of a, "Look, I'm all better!" attempt. This went fine until I moved a small round table with a thick marble top. The marble top lifted up as I moved it and then slammed back down on my finger.

OW!  Read more »

I was watching As Time Goes By over lunch today when I heard the perfect new term for my vocabulary. The character of Alastair breezed into a room, looked at someone wearing pajamas and said, "Jim-jams? At this hour?"

Stop TiVo! Jim-Jams? I'm in LOVE. Immediately, I do a search and replace in my brain, replacing all incidents of pajamas with jim-jams. It's vocabulary nirvana!  Read more »

Lately I've become quite addicted to As Time Goes By, a 1990s British sitcom staring Judi Dench (Dame Judi!) and Geoffrey Palmer. BBC America is rerunning it from the beginning, so I'm TiVoing it to ensure that don't miss an episode.  Read more »

Do you know who Pat Simpson is? He's the guy on HGTV who hosts shows like Fix it Up, Before & After, and Room to Improve. He endorses a number of home improvement products, too. Pat is a genial, down-to-earth guy from Alabama. Warm and friendly, he makes home improvement topics seem simple and accessible. He's taught me all sorts of things about everything from routers and rasps to countersink bits and countertops. In short, he's my hero.  Read more »