Pirate Life for Me

"You never work hard enough; if you don't apply yourself more, you won't get anywhere." "You should have done that the other way. Now this looks shoddy, see?" "Why on earth did you use blue for that? Blue will never work."  Read more »

Who is this voice? A critical parent or a harsh teacher? No, it's the voice in my head that plays too much of the time...and perhaps, the voice that sometimes plays in your head, too. You know the one, the voice that is never happy with what you do, the one that says you are too this or too that, suggesting that all your problems come from not listening to him or her. Some call this voice your Inner Critic. I, however, know it best as my Inner Commodore.

When most people think of a pirate flag, they think of the Jolly Roger (also known as the Skull and Crossbones). But, as my pirate-educated readers well know, Edward England's Jolly Roger is just one example of an historical pirate flag. There are many more.  Read more »

Where arrr y'goin'? No, where arrr y'goin'?

Yesterday morning, we headed to the 1^st Annual NorCal Pirate Festival. As we drove across the Benicia bridge on our way to Vallejo, we were flanked by a motorcycle pirate in a poufy linen shirt and a big black SUV with a Jolly Roger flapping wildly from the roof. Clearly, we were headed in the right direction.  Read more »

San Francisco Bay Area residents - this weekend (June 16 & 17, 2007) marks the first Northern California Pirate Festival, held at the Vallejo waterfront. Running from 10 to dusk on Saturday, 10-6 on Sunday, the festival features performers, contests, plenty of treasure sold by pirate vendors, the kind of good food you can only get in port, and more. They say:

Whether you love nautical music, swordfighting, sailing, cannon-battles, theater, maritime crafts, food and drink, or just shopping fer' pirate booty...there's something here for YOU!

Good enough, mate! You can check out the details yerself at the NorCal Pirate Festival site.  Read more »

Lately, I've been feeling terribly sad that I've made it this far in life without learning to swordfight. I started "signing up for" fencing classes as early as my teenage years, but my commitment (more like my state of physical fitness!) has never taken me beyond a few sessions. On Monday, I resolved that I must address this ASAP, because what if I died without knowing how to swordfight? My god, what could be sadder than that?

It's pretty gosh-darn convenient that I would decide this at a time when my sword arm is definitely out of service. Months of shoulder pain have brought me to a point where it is hard to unfasten my seat belt, much less draw a sword from my side in a sweeping flourish! I know, I know, learn to do it with your left arm, not your right, but I'm not trying to be the Dread Pirate Roberts. So, yesterday I brought my sword arm to my orthopaedic surgeon to have him take a look-see.  Read more »

I have a rich fantasy life; it really doesn't take much to get my imagination going. I like to make up my own stories about how things really are around me, and often those stories are far more interesting than the truth. The one thing separating me from the people in strait jackets, I suppose, is that I know my stories aren't true...but they entertain me, so I keep thinking them up.  Read more »

In some cases, the stories in my head have the power to transform tedious or unnerving situations into exciting adventures. This is can be very useful, as it gives me what seems like endless patience, when really people are just playing into the devious schemes created by my mind.

I turned my computer into a Pirate computer!

My current computer -- the desktop model that resides in my red pirate office -- has a glossy black case. It's rather lovely compared to the ugly "putty" colored cases I've had in the past, but it doesn't have much character. Plus, it's huge so that it can accommodate all the disc drives I put inside. I swear, you'd think I was running a server if you saw it.   Read more »

I have a fantasy of what the winter holidays are like. It's not very detailed; it's more like a video montage that features: beautiful, yummy food food, cold days and warm blankets, the gleam of shiny decorations in metallic turquoise, raspberry, and lime, and kitties snuggled contentedly on the hearth. Somewhere in there are the perfect, handmade presents-creatively hand-wrapped in a way that might make you weep-that I give with a gentle hug to everyone I love.  Read more »

My sister (Debbie) is just the best. She is at Disneyland today with her two daughters. Originally, they wanted me to go with them, but I couldn't because of the whole chemo thing. The reason we all want to be at Disneyland is to see the updated Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which now features Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Barbossa, and Davy Jones. Woo-hoo!

Debbie called me while waiting in line and her daughters sang "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirates Life for Me" into the phone. As they moved forward, my sister described everything. When they got into the boat, she hid the phone, which was still on, to see if she could take me on the ride with them.

I was instant messaging a friend at the time:  Read more »

I went to see Dead Man's Chest today, even though I was really too sick to go out. I was shaky and weak and had pains running up and down my back and legs. Such is the week after chemotherapy! While trying to watch the movie, my concentration would fade then surge, and I was so tired that I couldn't sit up straight in the theater seat. In short, it was torture sitting through a two-and-a-half hour movie.

After I got home, a friend called me up and asked how the movie was. I confessed that I couldn't really enjoy it under the circumstances. She asked, "Well, why didn't you leave?"

I spent what seemed like an eternity with my mouth open, then said, "You do NOT walk out on Pirates. Not ever!"  Read more »

 I'm finally ready to share what my pirate shadow box has become. This is the one I started in the shadow box class with Tim Holtz . Check it out:

Here are the side views:  Read more »

For various reasons, one place I never eat at is McDonald's restaurants. You can probably guess any number of reasons. I never have a weak moment where it seems appealing, either. Well, until now…when they started offering Dead Man's Chest pirate toys with Happy Meals.

Dun-da-dun-dun-DUN!

I like to imagine that I am strong and principled, but all that really means is that my price is often out of reach. However, all it took was a little licensing deal with Disney, and McD's has me trolling their locations every couple of days to see who has the new stuff. It's embarrassing, yet even fear of discovery doesn't make me stop.  Read more »

This morning I recorded a 1/2 hour "behind the scenes" show on Dead Man's Chest, on Starz. This afternoon, I turned it on to watch. It started out, quite cornily, with the characters of Pintel and Ragetti (the wacky pirate duo) doing an opening schtick, bantering back and forth.

At one point Ragetti says he wants to be good and Pintel says something like, "Pirates are bad. Why would you ever want to be good?"

Like a little kid, I answered aloud, "So you can get ice cream!" Half a second later, Ragetti responded, "If you're good, you get dessert!"

Okay. That was…weird.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the movie I've been waiting for, is in the theaters. Yay!  Read more »

I received a SPAM message in today's email entitled, "You can regrow your hair!"

Um, okay...good to know the universe has a sense of humor.

I'm really not feeling well. I feel very boring talking about my symptoms. I have a painful, blistering rash, I've had diarrhea for days, and any light hurts my eyes something awful. I am in the darkest room in the house with the brightness turned way down on the laptop. That goes to show how stubborn I am that I don't turn it off the computer altogether!  Read more »