Ve nid tu rrrre-scan yor leff kid-nee
Today I was scheduled for a pelvic ultrasound to screen for ovarian cancer. If you've been pregnant before, or had any issues with your ovaries, you've probably had this kind of ultrasound before. It's the one where you have to drink huge amounts of water, they scan you one way, you go to the bathroom, then they scan you another way. It's not my favorite test, and I feel safe saying that even though I've only done it this once.
The technician, who spoke with a thick Russian accent, exuded all the warmth of a refrigerator. When you are laying there so exposed, it would be nice if the person doing these things to you-things that in any other context would be horribly rude-would at least crack a smile. Oh, well.
After both ultrasounds were done, the tech left the room to consult with an invisible doctor. I was to wait on the table, undressed, in case they needed to do the ultrasound again. While lying there, I noticed numerous signs posted around the room, warning me that I am not to ask the technicians any questions because they are not medical doctors.
The technician returned and said, "Ve nid tu rrrre-scan yor leff kid-nee." She had me lay back on my side and she pushed the probe against me, all the while asking if there is a history of kidney problems in my family. When I said no, she sounded very surprised. All the while I wanted to say, "WHAT?!? What is it?" Instead I asked her, in my best innocent voice, what it looked like. She said it was shaped like a bean, kind of curved, and I said, "No, no, not kidneys in general, my kidney. Can I see?" (I mean, the radiologist let me see my breast tumor!) But the technician just ignored me. Let me tell you, that's comforting.
After consulting with the doctor again, she left me go, saying that my doctor will get the results in a day or two. Only, I'm not scheduled to see that doctor (the gynecologist) for six months. So, exactly how do I hear the results?
I'm not sure why, but this test, more than any other, really shook me up. I don't like the idea that maybe I have a kidney problem...or maybe the technician just got a bad scan. I'm hoping that when I see the medical oncologist tomorrow, she can let me know how to get the results. In the meantime, I find myself obsessively researching genetic kidney problems on the web, and that can't be any good for me.
Do health care professionals know how much we worry when they say nothing at all? That we read things into every sideways glance and frown? Perhaps they figure that a few days of worry is no big deal. I'm not sure. But I think we need an empathy simulator for more than just diseases.
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