Waist Not
Every morning, I gather up the clothes I want to wear for the day, place them in a pile in the bathroom, take my shower, then dress. I have three pairs of jeans that I choose from: two indigo and one black, and I don't like any of them. Mostly that's because I have a problem finding jeans that fit my curves well.
Today I pulled on my blue jeans and again lamented how ill fitting they are. I held them out from my waist and thought, "How the hell am I going to cinch that in with a belt without looking ridiculous? This is hopeless!"
Then, suddenly, it was as though I moved slightly away and above myself, in that observing place, and I noticed what was would be so terribly obvious to anyone else: These jeans are too big. I need a smaller size! If you hold jeans away from your waist and can store books between the waistband and your tummy, they are probably not the right size.
Keeping in mind that I've been putting a lot of effort into losing weight and I track my weight weekly, why was this such a big surprise to me? Because I was positive that I hadn't lost enough weight to affect my clothing size. I was convinced that I am so malformed that my hips will always be too big for my waist and everything will look crappy on me. But when I went to the closet and pulled out the pants I wore last year--one size down--they fit easily.
Which leads me to wonder, what else changes without us acknowledging it, simply because we decided that the change wasn't possible? What ruts in our thinking do we get so locked into that we don't even notice changes for the better? Like the father who is so accustomed to yelling at his "lazy" teenager that he doesn't register that she returned the car with a full tank of gas...what moments of triumph do we miss everyday?
Hmmm, it's food for thought!
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