When Good Books (and Movies) Go Bad
Lately, I've been considering what to do about the various books in my "to read" stack that have, unfortunately, gone stale. Through no fault of their own, these books have gone unread past their freshness date and now I just can't seem to get myself interested in reading them.
I've never heard anyone talk about the problem of stale books, so I assume this is a personal problem. It usually starts when I buy the book. I'll be getting books on a particularly topic when I see an unrelated book that looks like something right up my alley. There it is, right in front of me, maybe even on sale, and so I get it. I think, this will be cool to read. How clever that I found this!
Only...right now I'm reading the other books, the ones I set out to get, and so the "future read" book goes to the bottom of the pile. Caught up in other endeavors, it stays in that stack - the book stack that is a permanent fixture by my bed - for weeks. Months, even. Until one day I pick it up and think, I should read this.
I think we can all agree that "should" is one heck of a joy-killer. I should clean my shower grout. I should file the stack of paperwork on my desk. And now, I should read this book. The laws of space and matter seems to warp around the word "should" and now the book is three times its original weight. I can tell when I pick it up: it feels heavier. I put it back down.
This happens again and again. Pick it up, "I should read this." Put it down, "Maybe later."
There is nothing wrong with the book, just that I bought it too soon and now, like a carton of heavy cream purchased for a fancy dessert I never got around to making, it is past its use-by date.
Poor book.
Sometimes, there is hope. I'll pop the stale book into my tote bag on the way to a doctor's appointment and, lucky for the book, I'll be stuck in the waiting room for longer than expected. The book can't help but appear almost dewy with renewed freshness when contrasted against tattered, old issues of People magazine and Newsweek. I settle in for the wait, stick my nose into the book, and soon I'm thinking, "Hey, check this out! This is a pretty good book! Why didn't I read it sooner?" That's a happy ending.
Regrettably, though, there aren't enough doctor's appointments to account for all my impulsive book purchases. So, I keep the stale books in the stack until either I move them to a bookcase unread (ouch, that's the kiss of death) or give them to someone else.
The only solution seems to be to rein myself in and keep my book-buying more focused. You know, only buy what I know I'm going to read right now.
Yeah, right. I said try.
I wish this happened only with books, but unfortunately, it happens with movies, too. Given that I have a Netflix subscription, you would think that this would side-step the problem. After all, I'm just continually renting movies, it's not like I'm stuck with any of them.
But what happens, instead, is something I've named NETFLIX SYNDROME. It goes like this:
- I sign up for Netflix with a list of movies I'm anxious to see. I fill my queue with possibilities.
- The movies start coming in, I watch them, I update my queue, and I send them back. I tell friends about the ones I love. This is SO COOL. I think, everybody should have Netflix!
- Then, something happens in life to distract me. Maybe I'm working on a project and can't afford time for movie-watching. Maybe I just bought a season of a TV show on DVD and am spending my TV-time watching that. Or maybe I just forget about the movies I rented. Whatever the cause, the latest batch of Netflix envelopes sit on the coffee table, untouched.
- Weeks go by. I realize, I should watch those movies. They get crusty around edges. The envelopes gather dust.
- Finally, I realize that over a month has gone by and I have paid $18 to rent movies that I am not watching. The envelopes now appear to weigh about a pound each. With a sigh, I finally send them back to exchange them for new movies. Only, I forget to re-order my queue before doing so and they send back some weird stuff from my list that I am totally not in the mood for. Wild Women of Wongo, A Mighty Wind, and Go-Go-Robics? Oh, now that's a good weekend.
- The latest movies rest on the coffee table. These ones don't even arrive fresh. They are stale and heavy from the get-go.
- After a few more weeks, I start to reconsider my Netflix membership. Why am I paying $18/month for movies I don't watch? Why don't I just rent movies locally, as I feel the impulse, and stop this crazy cycle? I cancel my membership.
- Months go by and I do not miss Netflix. I am free from obligation. Free!
- One day, I rent some movies. Predictably, forget to return them in time and I have to pay late fees.
- Friends remind me that they never pay late fees - they have Netflix. It is FREEDOM from late fees. I think of all the great movies I want to watch. That would be a lot of late fees if I rented them from the store. And what could be easier than having them sent to my door? I restart the cycle at step 1.
You may think I exaggerate, but no, I have been through this cycle multiple times. I have been with Netflix since at least January of 2002. It is now 2007, and I have cancelled and re-signed with them at least three times. A fourth time, I varied my approach by putting my account on hold, but it turns out you can't keep it on hold very long.
You would think by now I would know better, yet...maybe it isn't about knowing.
This morning I shared my Netflix woes with my sister. While she is also a subscriber, I was sure she'd never let movies sit around unwatched. After all, she has kids and I know they cycle through a lot of movies. Right?
"Bridge to Terabithia," she said simply. "Mailed out June 22nd, returned September 12th. We actually started Bridge, but something came up and we stopped the movie, then never went back to it."
Yep. It went stale. Hate it when that happens.
I'm not sure what the solution is. I wish you could just put a damp paper towel over the afflicted books and DVDs, pop them in the microwave for a few minutes, and take them back out, fresh and tasty. But alas, you can't. Discipline is the most logical answer - reading and watching one thing at a time - but I swear, the day I become disciplined with my entertainment is the beginning of the end.
Oh, well. I suppose it will have to be Go-Go Robics over lunch, then. Unless I cancel, of course, in which case you may see me featured on the Netflix website as the first subscriber to be blacklisted. That's the good thing about the books - I buy their silence. Netflix knows too much.
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I can totally relate to the book issue. I have a lovely stack of stale books sitting in a neat, orderly pile...waiting...just waiting...for me to pick one up and start reading. When I walk by the neat, orderly pile...they whisper..."pick me up...I am a good book!" But, I just walk by and say "Later!"
As for the netflix...I watch alot of movies when I am not feeling well. So, when my movies have collected dust (which happened this week), I have had a fab week. So stale movies are a good thing in this house.
My son came in the other day and looked at my unopened pile and said, "Hey mom, you must be feeling pretty good!"
"Yes, I am!"
I think I will keep the stale movies around in case sending them back will jinx my health! Ya never know!
Lynne, I'd say that for under $20/month, your stale movies are WORTH it, then!
So glad we can be upfront with the stale book issue. Clearly, I'm not the only one who experiences this. It's the secret disease of booklovers, never to be spoken of in public! BREAK THE SILENCE, I say! LOL!
Alix
Repeat reader, first-time poster.. *hi!*
This post gave me a good giggle.. I'm an avid reader, I devour books, savor books; but since I spend most of my day on the computer doing one thing or another (sometimes work, usually not!) the books get left by the wayside in favor of the reading I gather off the world wide interweb. My tendency is to read a book that's part of a series, sometimes I read the series out of order unintentionally, and then go back to get the first book of the series and all the remaining ones. Why not? The one I read was good, I'm sure I'll like the rest! Then they sit on my bedside table so long I memorize the cover art.. Friends and family know I'm a reader, and loan me books.. I recently had five books loaned to me at the same time, read three of them, and forgot about the other two. Months go by, and my friend finally asked if I had finished the books. Then I have to mumble about how great they were, and sheepishly return them.
One trick I've found for freshening up my stale books is to leave one on the back of the toilet. It's a "captive audience" situation, and once I get past a certain point in the book, it usually makes its way out of the restroom and finds a better place to rest. :)
Thanks for posting! I agree, the "book in the bathroom" technique is a great one for refreshing reading material. I've used it, too, though I often forget to do that. I need to make it a regular habit --ooh, though I don't want to talk about regular and bathrooms in the same breath, to be honest.
The "loaned book" syndrome is a tricky one. The problem with loaned or gifted books is that I am often not in the right space to read them when they are handed to me, which just about guarantees they will go stale. Poor, dear, books. I can't tell you how often I've used the 'great book' mumble myself. It's a quandary, because it is so kind for people to lend books that they love. I want to do them justice, it's just that I am a fickle, fickle reader!
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