Winter Holidays: A New Approach
I'm not very good at celebrating holidays -- at least, I haven't been for a while. It's like I never know quite what to do with them and that's true of the Winter holidays more than any other. I get crabby when they start putting Christmas merchandise out before Halloween, I resist what I perceive as overcommercialization, I rush to make gifts and cards at the last minute and then I'm left, day after Christmas, melancholy because, yet again, I'm finally ready to feel the holiday spirit when it's too late.
Enough of that. Enough of crankiness and resistance -- at least the kind that makes the holiday less fun for me. Enough with being PC in my need to proclaim overcommercialization. I want to get with the program before the program is over, no matter who labels me a sell-out.
So, even though I'm normally the girl who buys gift wrap the day after Christmas (because it's 50% off!), this year, I did something different. I shopped the holiday aisles in NOVEMBER.
What a new experience! The prettiest and most clever ornaments are on display in my favorite shades of turquoise and purple and green. The lawn decorations are neatly boxed, tempting me with their sparkly lights. Nothing is picked over or ratty and I couldn't help it -- a dozen ideas began firing in my head of what I could do to make the holidays warm and happy.
With a happy heart, I've now ordered the first wave of gifts to avoid my familiar last-minute stress. Pulling out my calendar, I've scheduled a day for holiday crafting. Kathy and I need a tree full of unbreakable ornaments--the sentimental-yet-subversive style we love--and I'm hoping Kathy will join in on the fun of making them. I can't help but wonder what it would be like, too, to not finish the cards and gifts hours before the family gathering begins...but WEEKS before. Who knows, I may try that, too!
Is this what happens when you get cancer? You drop your cynicism in favor of living now? I don't know...I think this would have happened anyway. It's been ten years since I've had the honor of experiencing my mother's special holiday magic; I missed the last Christmas she was alive. I've finally decided to take the baton her spirit has been holding out for me and bring magic back in. I don't care about religion or mass-marketing, I just want to recreate the grace, comfort, and delight that my mother excelled at. It's time for me to be the indulgent mom, even if that's just to me.
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