You Want to Stick a Needle Into My WHAT?

Last night, Lola was using my chest as a roadway (I guess she had places to go) when I sneezed. Never sneeze when a cat is standing on you, especially if she has needle-like claws. Startled, Lola launched off my breast, getting plenty of traction. Traction translates to a lovely, long scratch across the pointy bit of my breast.

As I clutched my breast in pain, what did I yell? "Ow"? "That hurt"? No, I yelled, "Omigod, Lola, what are you doing? I have to show that breast to the doctor tomorrow!" Yes, indeed...my first thought was about what people will think.

While showering this morning, I felt the lump in my breast and for the first time thought, "This is just a cyst." I mean, what am I worrying about? It even feels like a cyst. I figure the doctor's appointment is just one of those necessary formalities.

Relaxed as I was about the appointment, I didn't stay relaxed, because it took Kathy and I an hour and a half to get to San Francisco. San Francisco is only maybe 30-35 miles away, and we were driving in the middle of the day! The backup at the Bay Bridge toll plaza, however, has only worsened since they started the FasTrak system of automatic toll-taking. I'm not sure why that is…shouldn't it be better? Maybe it's because they converted a number of toll lanes to FasTrak only, and not that many people have transponders yet. At any rate, it took way too long.

When I took off my gown for the doctor, I felt compelled to explain the bright red scratch on my breast. I didn't want her to think I was into something kinky. (Of course, I can't imagine what that would be…but…I felt it was best to say something anyway.) She did a breast exam, felt the lump, and said that she, too, thought it was probably a cyst. Normally she'd have me come back after my next cycle to see if it was still there, especially given that I'm only 40 years old. However, given my family history of breast cancer, she felt it was best to play it safe and send me for a fine needle aspiration (FNA) today. She gave me a slip to take to UCSF (University of San Francisco medical center) this afternoon. Oh, great, more people to explain that weird scratch to!

At the UCSF FNA clinic, a woman (who I assume was a resident or a fellow) explained the procedure to me. She said that the cytologist would insert a thin needle into my breast, directing it at the lump, and draw some fluid from the mass. They'd put the fluid on a slide and examine it under a microscope to see if there are any cancerous cells present. She told me that they usually took two or three "draws" to make sure they get an adequate sample. Because the needle was so thin, she didn't think it would hurt much, but she said that lately the cytologist was "getting soft" and used an anesthetic. She was a very nice person and I took that as a tongue-in-cheek remark.

The atmosphere changed when the cytologist came in, as she was all business. With her conservative blouse, straight tweed skirt, and strong Swedish accent, I had a hard time imagining her "getting soft." She had me show them where the lump is so they could determine how to direct the needle. Then she guided the resident through the procedure. There was no anesthetic involved, but I think that might be because I led them to believe I wouldn't need any. I tend to do that kind of thing without realizing it. I won't say it didn't hurt—it did—but it wasn't screaming pain or anything. The cytologist examined at least one of the slides while I was still there. She pronounced me "all clear" and said that I'd also hear from them in a couple of days, when they submitted the final report.

So, all done with that! I can't say that I ever want to have needles stuck in my breast again, but I am glad to get an answer without surgery. After all, I've got things to do!

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